Wednesday, March 07, 2007
KP2007MAR07
KP2007MAR07
DISTRIBUTION:
BLOG: blogicalthought.blogspot.com
NEWSGROUP: alt.ucp
==================================
KP2007MAR07
9:47 PM NOW
I'm disoriented now.
Since the 60's I've
been looking for a
real community. None
of the intentional
communities I found
suited me. Even their
members were usually
crazy. So I worked on
the problem of sanity
for a long time. I
made major progress
on that. It seemed like
my destiny was to found
an intentional community.
It seems like my life so
far was training for that.
I had some tight buddies,
and we had over a square
mile of mountain retreat.
Then that vanished a few
months ago, STOLEN by our
former "partners". We
paid $76,000 in the 70's,
and thought it was worth
a million or two. The
thieves just turned down
5 million dollars for it,
and are holding out for 7.
That WAS my future, as well
as my homestead, my retreat,
and my community of friends.
I really thought we could
model a sane culture/group
and show others how to do it.
Now it's gone, and my friends
have all lost their homesteads.
I try to see how I can build my
community without those assets.
I don't see how now. What else
to do? I'm not so much working
towards my fantasies as dealing
with catastrophes. Bummer! 9:59
I was hoping to move there this year,
and invite a few special people.
I was still hoping to have a bunch
of kids and raise them in some kind
of sane environment with happy people.
With no place and no group,
that looks a lot less likely now.
I'm quite dependent now on suicidal
psychotics, and my fallback option
just self-destructed. It's hard to
imagine a fantasy future I love that
is also possible to create. I've
tried to help the psychotics for
many years now with no big success.
When I try to help them, they attack.
I can't see a big future there, and
I don't see them living too long.
10:12
On the whole, it's getting harder and
harder to keep it together financially.
And "together" keeps getting redefined
to lesser and lesser hexpectations.
Of course, it's the criminals and
thieves who are doing well now:
bankers, arms makers, oil giants.
What I'm terrified of has already
happened to the Afganis and Iraqis.
What happened to my retreat has
also happened to entire countries.
The scumbags are in charge of
most of the planet, and are
trying desperately to crush
ALL resistance to their rule.
MY HEROS are mostly getting wiped out.
Their knowledge and culture are mostly
being obliterated, forgotten and lost.
People with priceless knowledge are
dying with no students: a bleak end.
Some of that I hoped to correct
with my planned community. Now
I have no sanctuary to share.
Better knowledge and wisdom with
no land than vise versa . . . maybe.
It's hard to have a culture without
and least some of both.
I am MUCH calmer about all this than
I would have been in the past. I'm
not hysterical or enraged or collapsed.
But I don't see good options forward.
I keep looking for new opportunities,
but I don't see them now. Yes, it's
cool my tone level is up enough I'm
not punishing myself for failing.
Higher tone level would better,
but I don't want to give up my
purposes and become a zombie.
My system is still a mess.
My CD drives don't seem to
work, so I still can't backup.
My flash drive would hold some,
but then I have to edit/choose
which is another big project.
My free business account was
closed several years ago, and
re-opening it is a big hassle,
and wouldn't be free or have
no minimum balance. Another
valuable asset gone. That's
at least one reason I've had
no book sales at lulu.com.
Things I worked years to set
up are flushed in a flash.
I think my friend Jimmy died.
I keep getting the feeling
that I'm trying to build a
house during a landslide.
Even the best efforts
seem to go downhill fast.
When I was driving along the
cliff road, I was really very
uptight, fearful and nauseous.
However, I was also working on
my awareness or tone level too.
Not as fast as some, but still
making forward, if slow progress.
Now that I've crashed through
the railing and I'm rolling
down the embankment, I'm glad
to report I am LESS hysterical.
I'm calmer and more rational
about my situation, but I also
see it more and more clearly as
worse and worse. I'm OK *NOW*
rolling down the hill, but I'm
also expecting some nastly jolts
as I smash into things on the
way down. I don't expect the
car to run again at the bottom.
I'm wondering how long I'll
live through this clusterfuck.
I have a lot of knowledge that
I feel is enormously valuable.
It's certainly helped me a lot.
I was hoping to share that
with a group or tribe that
would use, teach and share
it: protect and promote it.
That seems much less likely now.
10:54 Of course, this keeps
going to Prediction, which I
know from hexperience is error
prone and failure ridden, but
I don't know how to function
without it. Maybe that's a
future lesson? I's quite
certain I'm not there now.
Might be?
Dying, with no family, tribe,
students, or heirs. Watching
what I hoped to build slip away.
Leaving my knowldge, tools and
possessions to the thieves,
who will waste them as usual.
Compare?
That looks likely,
from what I see now.
However, it's not certain.
There's a lot I don't know.
However, I know that I can
work on my own awareness,
and that's helpful even
when the situation sucks.
11:15 I guess my options
are keep on keeping on, in
spite of the Interference,
or lay down and die quietly.
Keeping on keeping on still
seems a bit more attractive.
I'll stick with that for now.
11:29 = about 1.75 hours.
THANKS FOR READING!
O
--- )
KONCHOK PENDAY
KP@net-prophet.net = email
http://net-prophet.net/ = website
alt.ucp = the ucp usenet newsgroup
blogicalthought.blogspot.com = blog
INTEGRATOR: Universal Conscious Plot:
http://net-prophet.net/ucp/nuchart15.htm
FORMULATOR: Universal Conscious Practice:
http://net-prophet.net/ucp/ = UCP HOME PAGE
INVENTORevolutionary Architecture System:
SUBS = Simple Universal Building System:
http://net-prophet.net/subs/
AUTHOR: Til Death Do Us Part . . .
A Basic Education in Total Health:
How to Keep Body and Soul Happily Together
http://www.lulu.com/content/261881
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
*DO* THE UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUS PRACTICE!
*COMPARE* PRESENT TO PAST AND FUTURE!
ENLIGHTENMENT! . . . RIGHT! . . . *NOW!*
*TOTALLY FREE!* @ http://net-prophet.net/ucp/
Unmoderated public usenet newsgroup: alt.ucp
= The UNIVERSITY of CONSCIOUSNESS PULPIT!
UCP IS THE *CRUX* OF RATIONAL THOUGHT!
THE UCPLOT IS THE ROSETTA STONED
OF UNDERSTANDING CONSCIOUSNESS!KP2007MAR07
*YOU* CAN RAISE YOUR OWN AWARENESS NOW!
ACCELERATE YOUR OWN SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION!
USE THE FREE VIRTUAL WITNESS ONLINE NOW!KP2007MAR07
ONE SIZE FITS ALL SELF TAUGHT GOD LESSON!
INQUIRE WITHIN, ABOUT BECOMING YOURSELF!
PINNACLE PATHS PITCH PERFECT PERIMETERS!
THE PRIZE PATH IS A PATTERN: *UCP!*
ENHANCING GLOBAL ENLIGHTENMENT
BY BUILDING BETTER BODHISATTVAS
SINCE THE SECOND MILLENNIUM . . .
ONE BODHISATTVA AT A TIME!
*DO* UCP TO KNOW!
alt.ucp posting history online at google.com . . .
http://www.google.com/groups?safe=off&ie=ISO-8859-
1&as_ugroup=alt.ucp&lr=&num=100&hl=en
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
DISTRIBUTION:
BLOG: blogicalthought.blogspot.com
NEWSGROUP: alt.ucp
==================================
KP2007MAR07
9:47 PM NOW
I'm disoriented now.
Since the 60's I've
been looking for a
real community. None
of the intentional
communities I found
suited me. Even their
members were usually
crazy. So I worked on
the problem of sanity
for a long time. I
made major progress
on that. It seemed like
my destiny was to found
an intentional community.
It seems like my life so
far was training for that.
I had some tight buddies,
and we had over a square
mile of mountain retreat.
Then that vanished a few
months ago, STOLEN by our
former "partners". We
paid $76,000 in the 70's,
and thought it was worth
a million or two. The
thieves just turned down
5 million dollars for it,
and are holding out for 7.
That WAS my future, as well
as my homestead, my retreat,
and my community of friends.
I really thought we could
model a sane culture/group
and show others how to do it.
Now it's gone, and my friends
have all lost their homesteads.
I try to see how I can build my
community without those assets.
I don't see how now. What else
to do? I'm not so much working
towards my fantasies as dealing
with catastrophes. Bummer! 9:59
I was hoping to move there this year,
and invite a few special people.
I was still hoping to have a bunch
of kids and raise them in some kind
of sane environment with happy people.
With no place and no group,
that looks a lot less likely now.
I'm quite dependent now on suicidal
psychotics, and my fallback option
just self-destructed. It's hard to
imagine a fantasy future I love that
is also possible to create. I've
tried to help the psychotics for
many years now with no big success.
When I try to help them, they attack.
I can't see a big future there, and
I don't see them living too long.
10:12
On the whole, it's getting harder and
harder to keep it together financially.
And "together" keeps getting redefined
to lesser and lesser hexpectations.
Of course, it's the criminals and
thieves who are doing well now:
bankers, arms makers, oil giants.
What I'm terrified of has already
happened to the Afganis and Iraqis.
What happened to my retreat has
also happened to entire countries.
The scumbags are in charge of
most of the planet, and are
trying desperately to crush
ALL resistance to their rule.
MY HEROS are mostly getting wiped out.
Their knowledge and culture are mostly
being obliterated, forgotten and lost.
People with priceless knowledge are
dying with no students: a bleak end.
Some of that I hoped to correct
with my planned community. Now
I have no sanctuary to share.
Better knowledge and wisdom with
no land than vise versa . . . maybe.
It's hard to have a culture without
and least some of both.
I am MUCH calmer about all this than
I would have been in the past. I'm
not hysterical or enraged or collapsed.
But I don't see good options forward.
I keep looking for new opportunities,
but I don't see them now. Yes, it's
cool my tone level is up enough I'm
not punishing myself for failing.
Higher tone level would better,
but I don't want to give up my
purposes and become a zombie.
My system is still a mess.
My CD drives don't seem to
work, so I still can't backup.
My flash drive would hold some,
but then I have to edit/choose
which is another big project.
My free business account was
closed several years ago, and
re-opening it is a big hassle,
and wouldn't be free or have
no minimum balance. Another
valuable asset gone. That's
at least one reason I've had
no book sales at lulu.com.
Things I worked years to set
up are flushed in a flash.
I think my friend Jimmy died.
I keep getting the feeling
that I'm trying to build a
house during a landslide.
Even the best efforts
seem to go downhill fast.
When I was driving along the
cliff road, I was really very
uptight, fearful and nauseous.
However, I was also working on
my awareness or tone level too.
Not as fast as some, but still
making forward, if slow progress.
Now that I've crashed through
the railing and I'm rolling
down the embankment, I'm glad
to report I am LESS hysterical.
I'm calmer and more rational
about my situation, but I also
see it more and more clearly as
worse and worse. I'm OK *NOW*
rolling down the hill, but I'm
also expecting some nastly jolts
as I smash into things on the
way down. I don't expect the
car to run again at the bottom.
I'm wondering how long I'll
live through this clusterfuck.
I have a lot of knowledge that
I feel is enormously valuable.
It's certainly helped me a lot.
I was hoping to share that
with a group or tribe that
would use, teach and share
it: protect and promote it.
That seems much less likely now.
10:54 Of course, this keeps
going to Prediction, which I
know from hexperience is error
prone and failure ridden, but
I don't know how to function
without it. Maybe that's a
future lesson? I's quite
certain I'm not there now.
Might be?
Dying, with no family, tribe,
students, or heirs. Watching
what I hoped to build slip away.
Leaving my knowldge, tools and
possessions to the thieves,
who will waste them as usual.
Compare?
That looks likely,
from what I see now.
However, it's not certain.
There's a lot I don't know.
However, I know that I can
work on my own awareness,
and that's helpful even
when the situation sucks.
11:15 I guess my options
are keep on keeping on, in
spite of the Interference,
or lay down and die quietly.
Keeping on keeping on still
seems a bit more attractive.
I'll stick with that for now.
11:29 = about 1.75 hours.
THANKS FOR READING!
O
--- )
KONCHOK PENDAY
KP@net-prophet.net = email
http://net-prophet.net/ = website
alt.ucp = the ucp usenet newsgroup
blogicalthought.blogspot.com = blog
INTEGRATOR: Universal Conscious Plot:
http://net-prophet.net/ucp/nuchart15.htm
FORMULATOR: Universal Conscious Practice:
http://net-prophet.net/ucp/ = UCP HOME PAGE
INVENTORevolutionary Architecture System:
SUBS = Simple Universal Building System:
http://net-prophet.net/subs/
AUTHOR: Til Death Do Us Part . . .
A Basic Education in Total Health:
How to Keep Body and Soul Happily Together
http://www.lulu.com/content/261881
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
*DO* THE UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUS PRACTICE!
*COMPARE* PRESENT TO PAST AND FUTURE!
ENLIGHTENMENT! . . . RIGHT! . . . *NOW!*
*TOTALLY FREE!* @ http://net-prophet.net/ucp/
Unmoderated public usenet newsgroup: alt.ucp
= The UNIVERSITY of CONSCIOUSNESS PULPIT!
UCP IS THE *CRUX* OF RATIONAL THOUGHT!
THE UCPLOT IS THE ROSETTA STONED
OF UNDERSTANDING CONSCIOUSNESS!KP2007MAR07
*YOU* CAN RAISE YOUR OWN AWARENESS NOW!
ACCELERATE YOUR OWN SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION!
USE THE FREE VIRTUAL WITNESS ONLINE NOW!KP2007MAR07
ONE SIZE FITS ALL SELF TAUGHT GOD LESSON!
INQUIRE WITHIN, ABOUT BECOMING YOURSELF!
PINNACLE PATHS PITCH PERFECT PERIMETERS!
THE PRIZE PATH IS A PATTERN: *UCP!*
ENHANCING GLOBAL ENLIGHTENMENT
BY BUILDING BETTER BODHISATTVAS
SINCE THE SECOND MILLENNIUM . . .
ONE BODHISATTVA AT A TIME!
*DO* UCP TO KNOW!
alt.ucp posting history online at google.com . . .
http://www.google.com/groups?safe=off&ie=ISO-8859-
1&as_ugroup=alt.ucp&lr=&num=100&hl=en
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Comments:
<< Home
Sorry to hear about your situation KP. It does sound like you have a lot to handle at present - not easy to find optimism under the circumstances. I hope better things are on their way.
Good to see you blogging again though.
Richard
Good to see you blogging again though.
Richard
# posted by 
: Fri Mar 09, 03:01:00 AM PST
: Fri Mar 09, 03:01:00 AM PST
Anonymous wrote:
> Sorry to hear about your situation KP.
Thanks. I still have it much better than most.
Billions are struggling merely to stay alive.
I'm annoyed because my projects are damaged.
>It does sound like you have a
> lot to handle at present -
Yes. But WHO on earth doesn't?
>not easy to find optimism under the circumstances.
Hexternally, Yes.
I've been driven back
into my internal universe.
>I hope better things are on their way.
For all of us!
>Good to see you blogging again though.
Thanks!
At least I have repaired
some of the damage I did.
If I could avoid more
catastrophic errors,
that would be cool!
If I still make them,
I might at least try
to learn from them.
Thanks for writing!
O
--- )
\
> Richard
>
> --
> Posted by Anonymous to BLOGICAL THOUGHT
>at 3/09/2007 03:01:08 AM
Post a Comment
> Sorry to hear about your situation KP.
Thanks. I still have it much better than most.
Billions are struggling merely to stay alive.
I'm annoyed because my projects are damaged.
>It does sound like you have a
> lot to handle at present -
Yes. But WHO on earth doesn't?
>not easy to find optimism under the circumstances.
Hexternally, Yes.
I've been driven back
into my internal universe.
>I hope better things are on their way.
For all of us!
>Good to see you blogging again though.
Thanks!
At least I have repaired
some of the damage I did.
If I could avoid more
catastrophic errors,
that would be cool!
If I still make them,
I might at least try
to learn from them.
Thanks for writing!
O
--- )
\
> Richard
>
> --
> Posted by Anonymous to BLOGICAL THOUGHT
>at 3/09/2007 03:01:08 AM
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